U N I V E R S I T Y   C L U B   O F   C H I C A G O

                      CIGAR NEWS March 2006



THE NEXT informal gathering of the U Club Cigar Society will take
place in the Tower Club bar on Tuesday, March 14, 5-7pm. BYO cigars
and each member signs his own chit. All U Club members are invited,
and guests interested in a smoke and a cocktail in good company are
always welcome.

On Tuesday, March 14, the U Club Cigar Society will observe the anni-
versary of the birth of Swiss physicist Albert Einstein, who in 1905
posited that as a cigar smoker approaches the speed of light, his
experience of time slows and his mass increases -- a conjecture later
proved conclusively by David O'CONNOR. Einstein said, "If my theory
of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German,
and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my
theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German, and Germany
will declare that I am a Jew."  Tuckey will give a precis of Einstein's
annus mirabilis, 1905, in which he published five papers that have had
a profound effect on the development of modern physics.

Coming up...

On Tuesday, March 28, 5-7pm, in the Tower Club bar, the U Club Cigar
Society will observe the 70th birthday of Peruvian novelist and journ-
alist Mario Vargas Llosa. Doug JOHNSON will continue his discussion
of left-wing despots versus right-wing despots, taking Llosa's article
"But Meantime, What of Castro?" as a starting point. Speaking of
communism and the erosian of civil liberties, Vargas Llosa wrote: "It
is impossible not to feel civic solidarity with smokers, who are in
many ways treated as second-class citizens, prohibited from practicing
their addiction in most public places, burdened with guilt, and aware
of their pitiful condition, like the lepers of the Middle Ages."
Vargas Llosa failed in his bid to become president of Peru, but suc-
cessfully and very heavily smoked himself across the country in his
bid for that office, including a stop in the Amazon jungle at the
home of cigar club regular, Victor TUTIVEN ABREU.

While on the topic of smoking and political affairs, we note that
Albert Einstein, who said, "I believe that pipe smoking contributes
to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs,"
immediately declined his one invitation into presidential politics,
saying, "I am deeply moved by the offer from our State of Israel
[to serve as President], and at once saddened and ashamed that I
cannot accept it. All my life I have dealt with objective matters,
hence I lack both the natural aptitude and the experience to deal
properly with people and to exercise official functions. Therefore
I would also be an inappropriate candidate for this high task...."
One wonders if this might indicate an objective difference between
pipe smokers and cigar smokers in terms of their politics. David
"never trust a pipe smoker" O'Connor will take up this topic, using
cigar smokers such as Castro, Churchill, Clinton, Kennedy, Schwarzen-
egger, and Ventura, on the one hand, versus pipe-smoking leaders
such as Clint Eastwood, Douglas MacArthur, Joseph Stalin, Harold
Wilson, and Millicent Fenwick, on the other. As a further count-
erpoint, consider this picture of former house majority leader Tom
DeLay puffing on a Havanan Hoyo de Monterrey double corona ("But Did
He Inhale?" Time, April 2005.)
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1054968,00.html


In our last meeting...

Brewing expert and author Randy Mosher maneuvered us through
eleven beers, introducing us to a blonde Belgian with the salad,
a smoky German with the steak, and finally a dark, sweet Russian
with the chocolate cake. Others were quaffed in between, and
smoking occurred at all times. David O'CONNOR lamented that Ed
Burke had been unable to attend to give the keynote, as he was
busy helping a women's group form a new Temperance Union, and
introduced past Club president T. Lawrence Doyle, who spoke
after the dinner on The Origins of the English Gentlemen's Club.

Your loyal secretary,
Curtis Tuckey